Reinventing Myself? On Appearances and Authenticity in Media

I am embarrassed to admit that I have spent an inordinate amount of time lately, combing through my various social media accounts and removing content.  Now, as far as I know, I've never posted or written anything too terrible or embarrassing on my accounts; if anything, most of the stuff I removed was because the links were broken or the content was boring.  However, I did take the time to select out some of my more inflammatory political or complaint-heavy tweets, and I did go back through my Facebook posts to cull those ones that might have made me seem petty or mean or otherwise unbecoming.

You're probably thinking, no big deal.  Everyone does this, and most likely do it more often than I do; it's just that nobody is dumb enough to announce it publicly on a blog.  Well, I am! ;)

The problem here is that I've been thinking, and when I think, I take (arguably impulsive) action, and I'm not one to wait around until an idea has percolated long enough to make a strong brew before I go to town with it.  The messed up use of mixed metaphors hasn't escaped my notice, by the way, but you know what I mean.  I've been thinking about who I am, and how I want to be seen, and who I've become (because let's face it, the Mrs. Loquacious of 2008 is somewhat unrecognizable from the one of today).  And while I'm not running for any office, I don't want the me of 2008 to get in the way of me today.

But here's the rub: it is not always an easy process, although it might appear to be on the surface.  My voice, my identity, my thoughts - these are all very much a part of who I am, or who I was, and sometimes removing a post can be an act of insincerity or deliberate misrepresentation.  If I only posted about my "perfect life" and shared "enlightened thoughts" and pro-shot photographs, what experience might one have if they actually met me in person?  Would the digital voice match with the human one?  Because I can 100% guarantee that in real time, nothing about me or my life is perfect, and I'm not often very profound, either.  It seems, then, that my quest to be authentic stands in juxtaposition against my desire to shape my social media presence in a deliberate, intentional way.

So what is a woman to do?

Delete it all.

No, I'm kidding. I  really couldn't do that, although in moments of impatience, I can't say I haven't been enticed by the thought of a clean slate.  The Internet is forever, though, so I'm sure something somewhere would be cached, even if I did try to scrub it clean.

I'm still going through my Facebook, my IG, and eventually, this blog.  I'm still going to be cleaning up, but as I read through many of my posts, I realize that much like all of human development, I'm still a work in progress, and that truth is reflected in the things that appear in my social media accounts over the years.  When I was a child, I thought like a child... and now I'm a grown-ass woman, and I'm starting to get the hang of this adulting thing.  When I was younger, politics and educational issues meant less to me, and faith issues seemed much more cut and dried.  Now, my lenses are different and educational and political topics mean a great deal more to me, and I see how my faith and theology is much more nuanced.

So I guess I'm kind of reinventing myself, or more accurately, I am trying to align my social media presence more with who I've become, all the while attempting to juggle the balance between being authentic and appearances.  Hopefully, how I come across on screens will match how I am in person, because that, my friends, is the definition of integrity, and that's something I hope to convey in everything I say or write, online or offline. 💜