The Lonely Life of the Extrovert

Some think that it's hard to be an introvert, because they don't always have the drive and social chutzpah to engage with people all the time.  As a result, they can lead a miserly existence, and require much greater effort to get out there and mingle.

Though that might be true, I would suggest that being an extrovert is at least equally lonely, particularly if you're like Hubbs and I.  We are confident, relatively "successful" people with a strong and unwavering faith.  We are articulate and educated, critical-thinking and willing to stand up for what we believe (not to mention argue against that which is clearly false). We love to get in there and mingle, converse and (when required), lead.  Often, we are surrounded by people who for whatever reason like to gravitate towards us.  There is much laughter and conversation that often flows from our table. 

However, because of these qualities, assumptions get made. People think that we have it all together (and we don't always).  People want to seek us out for advice, for encouragement, for support, for help, but because they figure that we have it all together, they don't usually ask us what we need, or offer anything in return.

And while that is sometimes how relationships ebb and flow, when we are always on the giving end and almost never receiving, it can get quite tiring, not to mention, lonely.  I mean, the introvert doesn't actually need people to get recharged; people drain them.  However, us extroverts need people to build us up, to walk with us and love on us in order for us to feel refreshed. 

Sometimes, those people are hard to find.  And sometimes we encounter "duds" who end up hurting our hearts and wasting our time.

Like the one who thought I was an arrogant parent, and justified ignoring me as a result.  You're welcome for all of those meals, including the one at Thanksgiving when you were in the hospital with a sick kid, BTW. 

Or the one who, despite all of her actions suggesting that she was a good friend (from texting with me and inquiring on how life was going, to hanging out together in each other's homes and at the movies, to cuddling my newborn Little L during those foggy, early days), suddenly decided that we weren't really friends at all and my invitations to hang out amounted to pestering.  It's neither sudden nor intense to ask a friend to go for coffee, BTW, especially if it has been nearly half a year since you've been able to hang out.  Sorry for trying.

Or the several who only ever text or call when they want or need something, rather than to see how we are doing just because they care.  We're fine, thanks for not asking.

Today is one of those lonely days.  And one where, after evaluating all of the "dud" situations and their origins, makes us question whether we are in the right community after all. 

**DISCLAIMER: We do have several loving quality individuals in our lives who bless us and whose friendships we cherish.  It's just that, on days when we are feeling particularly deprived of community, the bad apples overshadow the good ones.  If you are one of our old, like-siblings-from-a-different-motha kind of friends, we love you and appreciate you and miss you.  We just wish there were more of you and less of the duds!