Sleep Sucks

Last straw. I am at my wits' end. Baby Loquacious will either get sleep trained or Hubbs will need a third income to pay for some poor woman to come and deal with my 10:00pm-10:00am shift, because I have had it.

I know, I know. You thought I had it good, or at least tolerable, since I haven't been b!tch!ng on here about my lack of good sleep.  I liken it to war; after being in the trenches for a long time, you almost adjust to sleeping in a ditch. Almost.

So what's the matter? So glad you asked!

Baby L still doesn't sleep through the night. In fact, she wakes up every 2 hours.  Oh, and then she cries until she gets nursed. Then it takes upwards of an hour on the boob to get her back into a deep slumber. Then I try to put her down in her own crib in my room. She lasts maybe an hour if I'm lucky, 5 minutes if I'm not. Then she wakes up crying, wanting to nurse again.

Can we say negative sleep association anyone?

Compound that with:
-an asleep Hubbs crossing over (even by an inch or two - every bit of which counts) into my half of the queen-size, where I am squished lying on my side with the baby.
- Hubbs snoring like a chainsaw or coughing and waking Baby L up early, necessitating more nursing
- Baby L being cranky because she has fought napping all day long
- Baby L being overtired from fighting sleep at bedtime (going to bed at 10:00 instead of 8:00)
- Baby L doing floor routines on the bed whilst half-asleep, resulting in kicks and punches to our heads and abdomen
-separation anxiety, meaning that baby is clinging to me all day long already, and I haven't had much of a break from her (cute as she may be)

So even as I blog this, at 12:49 am, I've already has to nurse my girl back down three times.

I am so tired.  I don't even remember the last time I had a quality sleep!

Desperate me = desperate measures. I called a sleep consultant.  We will be getting an assessment set up for next week, and then the plan goes into effect after that.

In keeping with our cry-averse attachment parenting, we have enlisted the services of a gentler method of sleep training that is going to be customized to suit our needs and concerns. The consultant is a graduate-level OT/pediatric sleep specialist who uses the latest in scientific research to inform her work.  Baby Loquacious will get assessed to see if she has any particularly high sensitivities, and then suggestions will be made to help us create a calm environment for her.

I am optimistic.

But in the meantime, I'm tired and cranky.  Thankful, of course, that my baby girl still manages to wake up with a big ol' grin on her face...and that she is waking up, period.  But tired and cranky when asked to do anything or give in any capacity.  Because I just. can't.  Fatigue is the new Chinese water torture.  It's killing me slowly.