My First Venture into Cosmetic Surgery

...and I'm not getting a tummy tuck (although that's what I would ideally want, lipo notwithstanding). I'm seeing a cosmetic dermatologist to remove unsightly tumours beneath my eyes. I'm told they are syringoma. Apparently I have sweaty under eye skin.

GAH! So disgusting. Kill me now.

Anyway, I've been trying out this amazing Vitamin A cream with a rather crappy name (it's called Cloud) that I'm going to review soon, and it has been making my unsightly bumps look a little less bumpy. However, no cream in the world will get rid of them. Trust me, I've tried. I've even gone to multiple estheticians for various kinds of lasers and extractions to rid me of these grotesque formations. Sadly, the only "cure" is for a dermatologist to cut them out in a cosmetic surgical procedure.

My appointment is Friday. My long weekend will be spent hiding behind gigantic dark sunglasses, because the scabs that will form following the removal may not be pretty. In fact, I might be downright hideous for a few days. I might even bleed from beneath my eyes. Sexy.

But I'm doing it anyway, because what started off as one or two bumps has now become a full-on cluster under my left eye, and anyone who knows me well knows that I have a clusteraphobia (I made that word up) and get totally heeby-jeebied out when I see clusters of bumps. For a while, I couldn't even eat raspberries. Mushrooms on a lawn? Forget about it; I'm a weak-ass puddle on the floor after seeing those little monstrous white and brown growths.

Anyway, I digress. I am joining the ranks of others who have altered their faces, all in the name of vanity. And I am excited. Well, maybe not for the scabbing and potential bruising and pain. But for the end results.

My Friday appointment is to remove a small selection of the bumps. Think of it like a test patch. I'm doing a trial run to see how well my skin responds to being detumourized (I also made that word up). What this means is that I'm probably going to have to go in again in a few weeks, to get the rest of them purged from my otherwise-gorgeous mug.

And who knows? If my adventures in cosmetic surgery go well, I might consider getting more "done" than just syringoma extractions. But let's take baby steps for now; I wouldn't want to go in looking like me and come back looking like a freak. Wait - that actually might happen, even with this little procedure of mine. *gulp* Wish me luck!