Time Out

Photo by Fabrizio Verrecchia on Unsplash

What a crazy weird moment in history.  As one meme joked, it's as if God has put us all in time-out to think about what we've done.

People are afraid, and rightly so.  It doesn't matter if you're rich or poor; this virus impacts everyone across the globe, disrupting certain supply chains, destroying small (and large) businesses, overburdening medical systems and staff, and killing people in unpredictable patterns of spread.  The various national responses have all called for a lockdown of borders and practices of social distancing, self-quarantine, and straight up social isolation.

I see anxiety about school and business closures, job insecurity/loss, and personal financial devastation.  I see worries about elderly loved ones, the social irresponsibility of others, and the monetary impact of covid-19 on our global economy.  I see fear about how long this will last, how many will fall ill, and how much toilet paper/eggs/milk/hand sanitizer one will actually need.  I see parents uncertain about childcare and the digital/online learning that their kids will now be forced to do.  I see students concerned about how they will graduate, or complete their accreditations, and  I see children feeling distressed because their parents are overwhelmed and their family routines are interrupted.

Basically, I think the whole entire world needs a big fat bear hug.  Humanity needs to be soothed, to be told that things will be okay, and to find hope and assurance in the midst of uncertainty and chaos.  But how?

I'm no expert, but I think that the irony of physical isolation is that it drives us to need to intentionally seek out social interaction more frequently, in any form we can.  Our brains and bodies are feeling anxious; we are in a fight/flight situation where our instincts tell us to either resist the lockdowns or buy up everything in sight for impending Covidiggedon.  Hearts are beating faster, blood pressures are rising, and we are collectively in a bit of a panic.  What we need is to sync our interbrain connectivity, increase our neuroceptive social engagement, and feel seen, secure, soothed, and safe by tapping into the positive relationships we have with those around us.

Neuroscience teaches us that we need to lean into each other for support, for comfort, and for self-regulation and co-regulation.  Our bodies and brains are hard-wired to respond to the physical and auditory cues of others; their smiling eyes, tone of voice, subtle facial expressions and nonverbal body movements all cue us that things will be okay (or conversely, that it's the end of the world).  Conversely, our own behaviours and words can be a great source of regulation and comfort to those whom we love.

Thankfully, we live in the 21st century, so video calling is literally in the palm of our hands.  And while a FaceTime chat is no substitute for a face-to-face coffee time, it still offers up a tremendous amount of visual and auditory information from which our ventral vagal system, or interbrain, can glean the necessary information to help us take a deep breath and find some perspective.

So why not group Zoom or WhatsApp call our extended family or friends?  It might take some time out of our day, but while we are all stuck at home anyway, we might as well take the time-out to do something that is good for our mental health, and those around us ;)

Trust me, it was one of the best things I did for myself this weekend.

Stay safe and healthy, friends! 💕