Grade 1 and Done, or Why Do We Do This To Ourselves?

First grade has come and gone. Truth be told, while for most kiddos around us today was the last day of school, we have actually been done for the past two weeks. We wrapped the year early, having covered just about everything we wanted to learn. We were both also kind of craving the freedom of summer. The sun was shining, the spray park was open, and we were just *done.* Oh, the luxuries of home learning!

We are very much looking forward to another year of distributed learning at home, and have already enrolled for second grade.  However, as you can see from the photo above, the bright-eyed, bushy-tailed expression of September has been replaced by a "been there, done that" look of a girl who is totally ready for a break. We need summer vacation.

And honestly, today I am starting to understand why moms drink wine and feel the stress to "keep up" with other moms. Do you have any idea how many "Last Day of School/Grade #" photos I've seen on social media since waking up? Some were more elaborate than others, some were more cutesy and chic than others, but moms across the western Prairies (and maybe all of Canada, and North America) were forcing their children to stand with signs outside their door to commemorate the occasion this morning, and many were also conducting exit interviews, also known as "Last Day of School Questionnaires." (Google it, it's a thing).

I was almost one of those moms, too. I obliged for the photo for the purposes of this blog post, but guess who also had two elaborate questionnaires of varying hipster designs printed up?

Guilty as charged.

But even as I was hitting "print" off my phone (in a mild state of panic because, as you know, we were already done school 14 days ago and this wasn't on my radar as a task du jour for 8:00am), I couldn't help but ask myself why I was getting anxious about it, and exactly who these questionnaires were actually for.  I mean, when Little L is 16 or 36, is she really going to give a crap about the worksheets that her mom forced her to complete on the last day of first grade? The effort I'd need to invest in printing the sheet off, completing it with her, storing it (and collating it with the other ones I would theoretically be accumulating over the course of the next 11 years) and keeping all of these pages safe until Little L was ready to give a sh!t about them is a fairly monumental task with a potentially low ROI.  Starting such a tradition also adds more to my emotional load, because now I've just invented more work for myself, that I will feel increasing pressure to "keep up" over the years, and let's be honest here - that kind of expectation only breeds resentment.

It's like reactance theory. I am a walking example of reactance to limits on my freedoms. I resent feeling like I "should" do anything because a)someone else is doing it, or b)I've done it once and now I'm "supposed" to do it all the time. Nope. No. Nuh-uh. I reject it all.

Anyway, point is - I am also giving *you* permission not to feel bad if you didn't do a "Last Day of School" photo or year-end questionnaire or classroom treat for your kid(s) to dole out to their peers. I'm telling you that it is okay if you just gave $5 toward the group gift for the classroom teacher, or totally forgot about the gym/art/music teacher's gift, or if you didn't give anyone anything at all. I am letting you know that you're still awesome as a parent even if you forgot it was the last day of school today, and now it's "too late" to do anything.

We are all doing the best that we can. These traditions that we create for our kids mean nothing in the big picture if they mean nothing to us, and observing them or ignoring them neither adds or takes away from your child(ren)'s experiences of joy at the prospect of summer vacation. These practises are only meaningful to those parents who actually find meaning in them, but if that's not you and it holds zero value to you (except for social media parent cred), then don't do it.  We are not beholden to any task just because the other parents want to do it, and it is silly to put pressure on ourselves just to get that photo moment for Instagram or colourful page for posterity. Why do we do this to ourselves, and jump through hoops for no real reason? Just say no. :)